I’ve been a Supernatural fan since 2011, which means I’ve spent nine long years obsessed with the characters in this show, especially Dean and Castiel. If you know me, then you know this fact about me. I’m very loud and open about it. I write Dean/Castiel fanfiction. I’ve traveled long hours on a road trip to visit the Mothman’s hometown all because of one of my favorite fanfictions. I’ve attended various conventions and met many of the actors and bought all the merchandise. Needless to say, Supernatural has been a monumentally significant part of my life for almost a decade.
Last Thursday, Supernatural finally came to an end after 15 seasons. Originally, I hadn’t planned to watch the finale since I stopped watching the show back on its 8th season due to the poor writing and overall stupidity of the episodes. The show just went downhill, and there’s no denying that. However, I still loved everything about the fandom. I never stopped enjoying the fanfiction, writing it, and loving all of the fan art and fan videos out there. And of course I still kept up with the show through Tumblr.
Then 15×18 happened. This is the episode that made #Destiel trend during election week above the actual elections. In this episode, our beloved Castiel confessed his (unrequited?) love for Dean Winchester, which allowed him to feel a moment of true happiness, killing him in the process due to a deal he’d previously made. People, including myself, were overwhelmed with bittersweet emotions. On the one hand, the ship of all ships finally became canon. Everyone who’s loved Dean and Castiel romantically felt vindicated after 12 long years of believing with absolute certainty that the characters did, in fact, fall in love with each other long ago, but everyone else telling us we were crazy. This was what we had all wanted for so many years.
Except, Castiel died a minute after his long speech to Dean, and was taken away by black goo that reminded me a lot of the way Castiel was killed off at the beginning of season seven by the Leviathans. Anyway, after Castiel died, it seemed like the old fans had all returned to Supernatural because hey, finally something interesting had happened. I was one of the old fans that came back, eagerly awaiting to hear Dean’s response to the genuine love confession from his best friend of 12 years.
And wait I did. I was consumed by thoughts of Supernatural for the following two weeks after that episode, wondering how the hell they were going to top that in the finale. And I wasn’t alone. Many others theorized nonstop for those two weeks, and I stayed up all night reading about them, almost in disbelief that Supernatural had suddenly gotten good. After all these years? It couldn’t be. It felt too good to be true.
And it was.
Supernatural aired episodes 15×19 and 15×20, I saw them, and the one thing I can say with certainty is I was confused. Not even devastated or disappointed or horrified. I was just confused. They built up that love confession so beautifully, but then somehow forgot about Castiel completely, and Dean’s character growth became just letting Castiel stay dead in a show where they just don’t do that. Something felt incomplete. But this is just the tip of the iceberg.
The finale, 15×20, was disastrous. The writing felt rushed and sloppy, more so than usual, and it just didn’t satisfy after such a long-running show. Our hero, Dean Winchester, died after being impaled to a nail on a wall. It was so anticlimactic that I laughed a little. I felt no grief and no sympathy for my favorite character. All I felt was delirious confusion. Is this really happening? This is how my hero gets to go? Because of one fucking nail? He’s defeated actual monsters, but one nail took him out?
That, my friends, is just bad writing.
Well, bad writing mixed in with homophobia. This is why I think so: If Dean were to have lived his normal life, just like Sam did, then Dean would have also settled down with someone, maybe had kids, you know, the apple pie life he always wanted. But Dean had no love interest on the show for the past nine years or so. Well, no one other than Castiel. And there is a lot of evidence that Dean reciprocated Castiel’s romantic feelings. The writers couldn’t have Dean settle down with anyone other than Castiel, but Castiel is a man (a genderless angel, but whatever) and that would make it gay, which is bad. Therefore, it was so much easier to leave Castiel dead, and kill off Dean in the process. That way they can just keep their one straight Sam alive to lead a boring life married to a blurry woman. (I’m not kidding. His wife was blurred out. Who the hell knows who she was).
There are a bunch of conspiracy theories floating around about this finale. Many of them point to the last two episodes being rewritten last minute in order to take the Destiel out of them. I don’t want to get into them, but you can read them if you’re interested. I will say that it feels like an injustice not only to the characters, but to the actors, for their long-running show to end this way. Misha Collins put his heart and soul into Castiel, and Castiel ended up dying right after feeling happiness. Can you believe this message? It’s not even about the Bury Your Gay trope, which in itself is fucking evil, but the show is saying that if you let yourself feel happiness, you’re fucked. Guess what? I already feel this way. You don’t need to make me watch this happen to my favorite character, too. Jensen Ackles spoke about hating the ending when it was presented to him, but apparently his opinion has never mattered on the show, which is just ridiculous. If anyone knows Dean, it’s Jensen Ackles. He could have written a much better ending for his character.
Born from the heartbreak caused by this the shittiest ending to any TV show, fans have come together to donate to incredible organizations like The Trevor Project, NAMI, Random Acts, and so on. Please consider donating. This gesture filled me with warmth and peace. I seriously love when good things come from pain. I’m proud of the people who came up with this amazing idea. We’re rising from the ashes, bitches.
This has been a rough week for avid Supernatural fans. If you’ve never loved a show so much that you’ve dedicated so many hours of your life to it, then you might not understand why we are so invested and feel so deeply for the characters. But if you’re like me, then you know that the love and pain this show has made me feel is as real as anything. I wanted to talk about this in depth in order to sort out my feelings on the matter. I love the actors with all my heart and I hope I get to see these characters in the future again. Jensen Ackles and Danneel Ackles own their own production company, so we’re all hoping they temporarily bring back the show with much, much better writing. I believe in them.
Either way, I just want to leave this on a good note. Misha Collins said that Castiel’s wings are rainbow colored. So, here’s my take.
writingfollies.wordpress.com 