“Most people think cows can’t think. Hello. Let me rephrase that, most people think cows can’t think, and have no feelings. Hello, again. I’m a cow, my name is Elsie, yes, I know. And that’s no bull.”
And so begins the most bizarre, hilarious, nonsensical book I’ve ever read in my life. I gotta say, when I picked up this book, I knew nothing about it. All I knew was that my dear David Duchovny wrote it (with some help, I’m assuming), and it had to do with a cow. I think that is all one has to know before reading it.
I’ve always been fascinated by books with the POV of an animal, so I went into it expecting a humorous version of Animal Farm. Although the novel was mentioned in Holy Cow, it really had no similarities.
From the start, I was laughing, and that had to be a good sign. Elsie is a happily oblivious cow living on a farm. She’s a curious, smart cow, and she wants more from life than what she knows will come. So, when Elsie discovers the truth about her future on the farm (i.e. slaughterhouse) she decides to take off to the other side of the world.
I couldn’t help but loving Elsie. She was really opinionated and wise about all things. She was so critical about humanity, and I really liked that. I agreed with her confusion about human behavior. But like all animal books, Elsie wasn’t the only perky character here. We also had a pig named Jerry, who later renamed himself Shalom, and a turkey named Tom Turkey, who just really wanted to fly. I loved all three of these characters.
Having said that, the story was extremely unrealistic, but it didn’t bother me in the slightest. I wasn’t in it for a non-fiction tale about farm animals, I was in it for…well, the funny. And I got the funny. I loved Elsie’s voice throughout. I’m not sure her ending message was clear to me, but I still enjoyed her.
Now, I really don’t know if Duchovny wrote this entirely on his own or with help, but I couldn’t give a damn. This book was lovely. It was by no means perfect, but it was worth reading. So, if you want funny, pick this up and you’ll get hours of laughter.
(can we appreciate my beautiful Duchovny with reading glasses, though? I promise my review was not biased by my love of one of my favorite actors and people in the world).